


Dalton Academy Oneshots

by aceofhearts88



Category: Dalton Academy Series
Genre: Ernest Seigerson, John Wright - Freeform, Multi, Riley Paige - Freeform, Sylvia Medel, just like every possible Dalton character could pop up inside here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-22
Updated: 2014-11-22
Packaged: 2018-02-26 14:34:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2655536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aceofhearts88/pseuds/aceofhearts88
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I'm gonna throw in here every Dalton oneshot I have written that doesn't fit into any other category I have already posted so far, just expect basically anything</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Raise your glass

The first chords hit her like a landslide, and for a moment she is falling, falling back into a world where there is no pain, no grief and no wounds with no healing in sight. A world where there was no mourning, no broken engagement or broken friendships, no confessions and uncovered truths. A world where there is still laughter and happiness, where a group of boys could still be teenagers, and where trust still rules the Academy walls.

Medel blinks, snapping back into the present, when Logans quiet voice starts humming to the chords behind her, she doubts anyone of the other boys can hear him, from where he has cornered himself slightly away from their little circle. Chairs pushed close together, the boys leaning against each other for comfort, for strength. Blaine is playing his guitar with fingers that had shaken until Kurt had pushed the guitar into them, now he kept brown eyes solely fixed on his fingers, as if one second without attention would fail his whole performance, he had never needed that much concentration to play a tune. It hit him hard, she knows Greg had meant a lot to him, had shown him who he truly was inside, what he was capable of.

Kurt and Reed have taken him into their middle, both still spotting red rimmed eyes, the smaller boy leaning against Shane, hands entwined. Next to them, David, Wes and the twins are unusually quiet and somber, and oh god, how much she hates it. Their silence. Their motionlessness. Just like the rest of the boys, having lost their energy, their spark. And she hates the most that she has no idea on how to change it, she doesn`t know how... and she needs help... but there is no one to ask... Greg is gone, and she has no idea if she can do this without him.

It crashes over her like a brick wall, she has no idea on how to lead these boys, but it`s not because Greg is not here, it`s not because he will never come back, but these boys are not the crazy fools she came to love. This is not them, and she hates it. Greg would have clocked their heads together by now, told them to get the sticks out of their behinds and start making music again, he would have thrown some old folks songs at them to get them to protest and come up with some other Top 40 song to perform. And Logan was the worst of all of them and Medel was actually scared for him.

Pale, almost sickly looking skin, the bags under his clouded eyes almost pitch black and he is skinny. Subdued. Calm. Silent. Careful. Words she never had to connect with him before. And she knows he only came today when she called because Derek and Julian dragged him into the choir room, he only came because Julian quite literally kicked his ass through the door... on crutches. He doesn`t eat, he doesn`t sleep more than some hours, and when he does, he always wakes up screaming, and how did she know? Because his best friends had finally manned up and approached her, hoping for some kind of intervention, another thing Greg would have done. She doesn´t know what to do, there is no medication induced haze involved, there is no coaxing until he broke from it able to help. It was guilt, and it was so clearly written into his face that everyone could see it, but nobody has a remedy.

So she had done the only thing her mind had been able to come up with, she had called for the twins and ordered them rally up their fellow Warblers, if they wanted to grieve, they could do it together. If only Blaine had chosen another song.

In the future she would always look back at the following five minutes with joy, mixed with a lot of heartache, but overall, it would always be a merry memory. One to keep a lifetime. One that proved her one more time why that group of boys would always be the closest one to her heart.

Julian and Derek had decided against staying, and she was relieved about it, let them have a moment for themselves, to catch up on sleep, or even to cry and break down, it mattered that they could breathe for a moment without having to worry about Logan all the time. And it`s strange, it`s funny in a way, that it`s not the actor with the broken foot, with the scars to last him a lifetime, with the pictures in his head that suffers the most. Medel doesn`t know if both boys has exchanged a word until now about what had happened before the fire, she doesn`t want to intrude, none of the three react good to pushing and fishing, they are secret, private. Their friendship was one of the closest and strongest ones she would ever encounter, and nothing had changed too much, and she was convinced that Logan would have already been lost to whatever dark thoughts haunted him if especially Julian hadn`t stuck so close in the last weeks.

And in another grand twist of events, her musings are interrupted when a voice rings out over the classroom, and she levels her head around so fast, the bones crack, and Blaine reacts equally, fingers twitching for a second, messing up a chord, but his eyes don`t show it, focused on the boy singing along to the guitar melody. It`s a sadder version. It`s suits the situation more, but Logans voice is as clear as ever, hitting every note dead on, without any struggle, without any physical effort. Green eyes were still avoiding everyone else in the room, staring out of the window.

Right right, turn off the lights,   
we're gonna lose our minds tonight,   
what's the dealio? 

And it`s comical, when she thinks about it, how different the performances are, how different and opposed the mood was, but her mind floats back again. Back to a year ago...

Any hope for concentration and productive work had been lost five seconds after she had stepped into the choir room, the boys were screaming, whopping, both twins were jumping over chairs, chasing after Wes and David. Reed had scrambled under the piano, the same piano Logan continued to assault with excessively high tones to annoy the twins into submission. Blaine sitting on the bench next to him, with his back leaning against Logans side was not really helping matters and had instead chosen to practice his scales.

It was chaos in all its best, and Greg, waving to her from across the room, where he sat with Josh and Bailey on either side of him, glaring at each other and snapping like an old married couple, Greg was apparently downright in the mood to play along with their shenanigans. Alright, if he wanted it that way, throwing her sheet music onto the closest chairs, Sylvia straightened her shoulders and flipped the light switch twice, Logan and Blaine stopped immediately and turned around to her, and she swung up to them and pulled Logan to his feet, starting to sing.

I love when it's all too much,   
5am turn the radio up   
where's the rock and roll?  
And Greg pushed Bailey and Josh to their feet and pulled the twins down from the closest chairs, following in her moves and belting out the lyrics, making a perfect spin in sync with the twins who quickly caught up.  
Party Crasher,   
Penny Snatcher,   
Call me up if you want gangsta   
Don't be fancy, just get dancey   
Why so serious?  
And soon enough the boys had found their heads again and were singing along, Sylvia lost her tone for a second, when Logan gripped both of her hands, smirked at her in that gleaming dangerous way before twirling her around right into Gregs arms. She didn`t get a second to scold him because he had jumped over to the twins and had stepped up into some surprisingly fluent steps with them.  
So raise your glass if you are wrong,   
in all the right ways,   
all my underdogs,   
we will never be never be anything but loud   
and nitty gritty dirty little freaks   
won't you come on and come on and raise your glass,   
just come on and come on and raise your glass  
She naps back to the present, surprised when she hears her own voice singing, taking the second verse from Logan, her eyes falling over the attentive and almost teary eyes of the other boys, and the words in the lyrics are a begging wish, a prayer to them, and she can only wish they listen and understand. She needs them, just as much as they need her, she needs her boys back, not these empty shells to afraid to feel anything more than this bone shaking sadness.  
Slam slam, oh hot damn   
what part of party don't you understand,   
wish you'd just freak out (freak out already)   
can't stop, coming in hot,   
I should be locked up right on the spot   
it's so on right now (so fuckin on right now)  
She doesn`t even feel bad about cursing right in front of them, when she sees the twins eyes widening with honest surprise and a little mischief. Blaine is still playing, fingers moving flawlessly now, even though his eyes are set on the blond prefect quietly humming her backup.  
Party Crasher,   
Penny Snatcher,   
Call me up if you want gangsta   
Don't be fancy, just get dancey   
Why so serious?  
Back in the days, Blaine had dragged Josh onto a nearby table, hips swinging to the beat, when Greg and her had reached under the piano and had pulled Reed out from under it, making him stumble until Logan and Ethan caught him with a swing in their steps. And they were screaming and singing, dancing and jumping, and belting out the song with all soul and heart, and maybe there wouldn`t be any work done today, but this was what glee club was all about. This was letting go. This was forgetting problems and forgetting house wars and parents and teachers.  
So raise your glass if you are wrong,   
in all the right ways,   
all my underdogs,   
we will never be never be anything but loud   
and nitty gritty dirty little freaks   
won't you come on and come on and raise your glass,   
just come on and come on and raise your glass   
won't you come on and come on and raise your glass,   
just come on and come on and raise your glass  
(oh shit my glass is empty, that sucks)  
And back then, it ended in all of them laughing, with her crashing onto the closest chair and waving some much needed air into her face, with the twins playfully shoving Logan against Greg, with him catching the laughing boy and patting him on his back before calling for Blaine and Josh to come down from the table, while she giggles and pats Reeds head when the small boy comes to sit next to her, out of breath himself.  
This time, Blaine and Logan take the last verse together, voices blending in together so perfectly like they hadn`t done it in a long time, and Blaines eyes were still fixed upon Logan, even when Logan turned his head to stare right back at him upon hearing his voice mixing with his own.   
So if you're too school for cool,   
and you're treated like a fool,   
you can choose to let it go   
we can always, we can always,   
party on our own  
And it was the truth, was it not... Greg was gone, but they weren`t. They were still here and they owed it to his legacy to continue, to go on with the show and make sure that his work was not for nothing. The music had to play on, their voices had to sing on. They just had to deal, and they could do it best, if they worked on it together, if they gave each other comfort and expressed their pain in the best way they knew. Through music.  
She joined them for the last chorus, the rest of the boys humming a melody, the connection between Blaine and Logan staid unbroken, green staring into brown, and with a start that almost knocked her from her chair, Medel realized that Logan was crying. Tears rolling down his cheeks, while his beautiful voice continued to sing without a mistake, no shaking, no tremors.  
(so raise your. oh fuck) So raise your glass if you are wrong,   
in all the right ways,   
all my underdogs,   
we will never be never be anything but loud   
and nitty gritty, dirty little freaks   
So raise your glass if you are wrong,   
in all the right ways,   
all my underdogs,   
we will never be never be anything but loud   
and nitty gritty, dirty little freaks   
won't you come on and come on and raise your glass,   
just come on and come on and raise your glass   
won't you come on and come on and raise your glass,(for me)   
just come on and come on and raise your glass (for me)  
And the last word rings out, and Medel finds the picture David had placed on the wall next to their wide board, and she looks into Gregs eyes and after so many hours, she finally finds the strength, finally finds the courage to go on, to take these boys under her leadership.   
The song, especially the music of the guitar quite abruptly and quickly breaks, when Blaine pushes the instrument into Kurts hands, crosses the distance between himself and Logan, almost leaping over a chair, and pulls the taller boy against him. Arms falling around him, crushing him to his chest, head coming to rest upon blond hair, and Logan almost falls against him, crumpling. And deep and gut wrenching sobs filled the choir room, Logans face hidden in Blaines shoulder, and he holds onto him.  
“It`s the first time he sang since the fire.”, Ethan quietly speaks at her side, and she nods, knowing it already, and she cards a gentle hand through Reeds hair, some tears on his face now, too.  
“Would you be a dear and look for Julian or Derek, guys?”, she directs at both twins, “I think Logan will need them soon enough.”, crying is cleaning, it takes the pain and the guilt, but it left you exhausted beyond imagination and she knew that Logan would surely only endure his best friends to see him that weak and broken then. Ethan and Evan nod, hurrying from the room, when she turns to the others with a tired smile, the Stuart ones, Bailey at the front looked relieved in some ways, having probably been worried sick about their prefect, “And the rest of you gives them some room, I want you to be back here at five tomorrow.”  
“Does this mean rehearsals are back on?”, Lucas wants to know from next to Baileys elbow, and Medel smiles at them before nodding.  
“Yes, and be prepared. No more mooping around, Harvey wouldn`t have wanted that.”, at least half of them jump forward to quickly hug her, trying to be quiet and discreet for Logans sake, but they shuffle from the room with quiet whispers, and she swears she can hear some of them talking about song ideas already. And she pushes a hand over her face, and another one over the bump of her stomach and winks at Kurt who lingers in the doorway.  
“Are you alright, Miss Medel?”, and she looks back to Logan still crying in Blaines arms, Blaine whispering quietly to him, she is far enough away to not hear him, there are still things she does not want to intrude into. But it is a sign, is it not? For a change, for improvement, for life. For forgiveness and moving on. Things would never be like they had been before, they couldn`t be, a great bid deal of their life was gone, forever, but together they could move on and find a way to live a life that would make Greg proud.  
“I will be, Kurt. We`ll all be alright.”  
Her words are barely spoken, when Derek flies into the room, almost knocking over Kurt in the process, Julian on his heels as fast as he could with his crutches. Things would be alright, they would find their path again, they had Greg watching over them now.


	2. Prefect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riley Paige centered with a little bit of Jogan: It's only a short sentence, but he has been waiting for it a long time

Riley Paige is used to craziness, it came with attending a school like Dalton, where no border was normal, everyone seemed to have at least one trait bordering on madness, it was the reason he was so fixed on never staying longer than necessary after school ended, the reason for him not to join too many clubs and the main reason why he had thrown a very unusual temper tantrum, when his mother had proposed to him that boarding might improve his studies even more. Over. His.Dead.Body. 

He got along well with the other students, the day students admired him and saw him as their leader, Lancaster House, the dream they had, that was so close now, and even though he was glad that they might actually get a voice now, a voice they could use against the other houses, he didn`t like the reason or the circumstances that led to this victory. He had been at Dalton, when the Art Hall had caught on fire, helping out during Parents Night, he had been standing in the courtyard along with some Stuarts, when news had raced around that some students were trapped inside.

The resulting craziness, so many people hurt, nobody knowing how serious Larsons injuries were, Harvey dead, Adam unable to recall anything that happened after the fall from the third story, had passed by him like a winter storm, leaving him cold and not knowing what he could do to help. And he wanted to help, especially when they started talking about closing their school, but he got sick with the flu and had to stay in bed, not knowing, and it drove him insane.

Julian Larson waking up saved Dalton, and somehow they all got back to some kind of normalcy, especially after Larson returned back to school, but Riley still felt weird, still felt as if he should have done more, so when Deam Ramsey approached him and asked him for his opinion on reinstating the Day students house, Riley gave his argument with less heat and motivation than he originally thought. He was still sick of the boarders behavior, still sick of their lack of understandment for rules, but he could see the changes happening right before his eyes. Stuart was quiet, no pranks, no revenge on Windsor, it was exceptionally quiet since Wright and Larson had both returned home. Windsors hadn`t changed a bit, but without Stuarts to take on the war, it was harmless, and the Hanovers barely trusted each other anymore. 

It wasn`t the same, and Riley had the impression that it would take a lot of time for things to snap back to the usual madness, but his friends were still pushing, they wanted Lancaster back more than ever, convinced that they needed a voice, needed someone to make sure that Dalton would never get so close to getting closed again, just because of the boarding house students. Riley didn`t know if blaming them was the right thing to do, he could see the sleepless nights in Larsons and Wrights faces, could see the strain on every movement Derek Seigerson made, so desperate to keep his friends from falling apart. He could see the dark bags under Charlie Amos and Justin Bancrofts eyes, both prefects so hard working on making sure their houses were alright, and suddenly he was wondering on whether or not he wanted that for himself. Boys relying on him, relying on him to make things better, just because he would be prefect.

"Mister Paige?", Ramseys voice and the clicking of her fingernails against her desk let him snap out of his thoughts, "I asked you if you feel able to keep so many boys in check? This school has been through a lot and I am very intend on making sure that nothing like that ever happens again. Giving you this privilegue of having an own house again, does not mean that I am looking forward to having groups of suddenly arrogant and high nosed day students running around the corridors.", which in all honesty was Rileys worst nightmare, he knew his friends, they were sane, but there were so many other boys he barely knew.  
"The last thing I want is for a new house war to break out, Madam.", Ramseys dark eyes pierced through his for a moment, but whatever she saw seemed to comfort her.  
"If there is even a doubt in your head that you are not made for this position..."  
"Madam, with all due respect, I have been waiting for this opportunity for two years, I am ready. I know it`s a lot of responsibilities, but I can do this. Is this treatment really necessary?"  
"Mister Paige, I am merely giving you the talk that I am giving every new prefect.", Rileys ears needed a moment to really comprehend the words the Dean had just directed towards him, and suddenly his head snapped up and he blinked at the stern woman in front of him.  
"New prefect?"  
"Well, congratulations, Mister Paige. Prefects signed up on it a week ago and the board has no arguments against it. Lancaster house is reinstalled."

Riley has no words, has no immediate thoughts of victory, all he can feel are cold feet and one horror scenario after another building up in his mind, he was responsible for them now. He was a leader, and even thought nothing had really changed, his title just being official now, he can feel his heart starting to race and the sweat breaking out on his neck. What if he fucked it up? What if something went wrong? He could already hear the boarders laughing, after so much complaining and fighting, they finally had their wish, only for it to go wrong within the first days, because he couldn`t even be good enough to keep his head focused for one day.

The first thing Riley does, when he steps out of Ramseys office, is pushing both hands over his face and taking a deep breath, not knowing that he wasn`t alone in the small corridor by Ramseys office, he leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes for a moment, only to jump a foot in the air, when someone cleared his voice not far from him. Green eyes blinking open, Riley came face to face with Julian Larsons amused smirk, the actor was leaning on the wall across from him, one perfect eyebrow raised in question.  
"Rough day?", the actor questioned him, hair askew, Riley looked at him for a moment, waiting for the impending punch line to drop, or the bad joke, but nothing came, Julian patiently waited for an answer.  
"You could say it like that. You got into trouble?", Julian let out a small laugh, pushing himself from the wall, brown eyes blinking in amusement, it was hard not to be drawn towards him. Julian Larson was an attention seeker, and even though Riley was completely sure about his heterosexuality, he wouldn`t lie about finding Julian Larson attractive, you were a moron if you denied it. There wasn`t a boy in this school who wouldn`t agree on the actors ability to turn eyes everywhere.

"No. I was looking for you actually.", sauntering towards him with that confident waltz, Riley was a little taken aback, until now he had been under the illusion that the actor had no idea who he was, his friend Terri knew him a little, from when Julian had found his time worthy enough to spend with the drama club, but he was also glad, because Julian seemed to have refound his old arrogance and confidence, he looked like a snake ready to seduce.  
"For me?", he stuttered out, eyes blinking at the smirk on the Stuarts face, before he took a last step back against the wall, while Julian stepped even closer to him, sepia eyes fixed on his face like a predator ready to strike. Riley was postively freaked out, this was not good for his mind, this close after getting so much routine changing news.

"It`s actually me looking for you.", a new voice spoke out from the end of the small corridor and Riley turned his head to face Stuarts prefect, whose amused green eyes were plastered onto the brown haired boy, who had stopped creeping up on Riley, "Julian was just nice enough to catch you, while I took care of some things. By the way, catch him, Jules, not freak the living crap out of him."  
"Where was the fun in that?", Julian grinned, winking at Riley, who could only blink in confusion, turning his eyes to Logan again, when the blond boy came to stand next to his boyfriend.  
"Is there a reason for you to find me?"  
"Yeah, someone needs to go over the basics with you, and we need to see if your shedule suits ours, or if we have to reshedule prefect meetings.", Riley was a mess of thoughts and emotions, and before he broke down like a little crying girl in front of two of Stuarts most outstanding characters, he took a deep breath to push it all to the back of his head. He was a prefect. He finally was a prefect, their prefect. Lancasters prefect.

Straightening his back, rearranging his blazer again, Riley faced Logan with some more backbone, this was what he had fought for, this is what his friends had called him for months already. He was Lancasters prefect and he needed to keep his head in the game if he wanted to have a voice, if he finally wanted them to have a voice in the decision makings.  
"Alright, you got any place in mind to talk about those things?", before Logan could answer, Julian interrupted their conversation again, prompting Stuarts prefect to roll his eyes.  
"Can you give me Terrys number? I want to talk to him about joining the drama club."  
"Sure.", fishing his phone out of his pants, he scrolled through his contact list until he had found his friends number, knowing that Terry would be delighted to have Julian Larson fucking finally join them, he held it out for the actor to read.  
"You just condemned yourself to a lifetime of complaints from Combs, Paige.", Logan mentioned, narrowing his eyes for a moment, when Julian snatched a pen from the inside pocket of his blazer.  
"Terry is used to a lot worse, trust me.", Riley answered him, eyes watching in amusement, how Julian pulled out a scrambled piece of paper, flattened it against Logans back and began to scribble down the number from the phone Riley was still holding out for him, Logan stood perfectly still.  
"As I wanted to say.", he began again, not caring in the slightest that Julian was using him as a desk, "We can use the prefect meeting room. Amos is busy with Windsor, apparently Tweedles flooded the kitchen.", Riley had been used to much more terrible stories by now, and didn`t even move a muscle, Julian sent him a quick smile, when he was done with Terrys number, Riley pushed his phone back into his pants, "Justin is out on a date, but I`m sure he will seek you out tomorrow.", while he talked, Logan pushed his arms out a bit, so Julian could easily place the pen back into his blazer and let one hand sneak into the left pocket of the uniform pants, pulling out the Blackberry, Riley was truth be told mesmerized by the unspoken knowledge of what the other one wanted, "So, you game?"

It was only a small gesture, but the simple question for his approval made Riley realize that he was no longer seen as a simple day student, as a nuisance, he was a prefect now, and Logan treated him with the same respect that he treated Justin, and Charlie sometimes. They were on the same level now, and damn if that didn`t feel good. And all doubts and hesitations vanished at least for the moment, when he nodded at Logan and they began to walk down the corridor, together. Logan began telling him about the basic details that Ramsey had left out, because someone would make him aware of them, reaching out a hand to curl around the actors right upper arm, he pulled him along as they walked. Julian was already busy typing away on the phone.

Riley Paige is a junior day student at Dalton Academy, member of the basketball team and the karate team, he was elected as the Day Student Union leader in his sophomore year, he was a born leader. A perfect student, student assistant to Dean Ramsey, tutoring students in three different classes, but all of it would fade to the background now, because after two years of endless discussions and fighting, he was no longer just leader of a bunch of guys attending a boarding school as outsiders. After two years, he had achieved the goal he had written on every list he had ever made since starting at this school, he had achieved to reinstall a house for them. Lancaster house was reborn. And Riley Paige was a prefect.


	3. Until Next Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan finds himself standing on the stage in the new Art Hall on graduation day, and a familiar face comes to say not-goodbye

I´ll never say goodbye

He stepped back into the theater room of the new Art Hall, when all that fuss and all those big speeches are over, when his bags are packed and waiting in the trunk of his car, waiting for him to start the long drive to New York. His high school diploma is still in Michelles hands and he doubts, he will get it back until the day is completely over, the robe they had been forced to wear is more or less neatly tucked into another bag, one of the three thousand bags Julian and him had somehow managed to fit into his car, he was already slightly afraid to open the trunk back home, after Julian had jumped onto it to get it close.

Back home. For the first time in four years, that wouldn`t be Dalton anymore, and the bitter realization that his sheltered high school years were really over now, fell over him like a tidal wave, while his feet soundlessly stepped down the stairs towards the stage. He had changed back into some simple pants and a black shirt, somehow feeling depressed now, where all that glory and happiness of the day had settled down. Graduation, he hadn`t had time to think about the impending goodbyes for a whole week, so many last minute responsibilities, Warbler duties, reheasals, reigning in Derek from killing everyone who dared to ask him about his speech, making sure that he got every last advice to Bailey. 

It had been insane, and only now, did he realize that it all had been the last time. The last time he had sung as a Warbler, the last time he had stood on this stage and had performed in front of so many people, the last time he had sung with his friends. The last day he had been prefect. The last time he had woken up in Stuart to Derek screaming down a bunch of sophomores who had taken the last cup of coffee without setting up a new one. The last time...

Tomorrow he would be in New York, unpacking in the new apartment he would share with Julian, Derek and Casey, god, it was all so unreal, and painfully clear at the same time. Climbing the stage, Logan let his eyes wander around the empty rows and seats, the hall was silent, where it had been filled with so much life only hours ago, but still, somehow he liked it better, when it was like this. Peaceful. When every sound you made, every melody you sang was echoed back by the golden walls around him.

Sometimes, when he had sought out some peaceful hours in the past year, he had come here, sat down at the piano and had just played until his head had been void of all those dark places again, and sometimes, he had even dared to believe that he was still able to hear Harveys voice. In the one place he had never gotten to see. Logan missed him, especially on a day like today, he would have given much to have Harvey see him graduate, to have had the man who had been more of a father to him in the last years than his own see him on that stage, diploma in hand. To congratulate him, to shake his head in amusement, while Michelle held up her camera and Derek and Julian pushed up close to him. For Harvey to shake his hand, to tell him that he had made the right decisions.

"You look way too cynical on a day like this. You should be celebrating, Logan.", his lips curling into a small smile, when he turned around to look his right, where Miss Medel was leaning against the piano, still wearing the festive dark blue dress.  
"There will be enough celebrating, when we`re in New York. I think one evening of remembering can`t hurt.", Medel smiled at him, pushing herself from her piano to walk over to him.  
"Oh, it`s gonna be so lonely without all of you here. And so boring.", she added as an afterthought and Logan had to laugh, pushing a hand over his face, he hadn`t even realized that his eyes had gotten watery, but after a day, where Michelle had constantly cried in happiness and joy, where even Julian and Derek had started bawling, he was entitled to some sentimental moments of his own.  
"There are still other boys, new kids coming in the fall.", Medel nodded, still smiling, reaching out a a hand to squeeze his shoulder once.

"I know, I know, but none of them will be you or anyone of the graduating boys. You were the first ones I had for all four years, the first ones with a National title, and the first one I had to coach all alone.", Logan had to look back towards the rows, "We`ve come very far, Logan. Much further than anyone would have thought after the fire.", small hands reached for his bigger ones, "And it`s okay to miss him, I do it every day.", Logan smiled again, Medel had always found him, when his demons had caught up with him again after Hell Night and he had tried to fight against them in the music room, writing songs, singing, just playing piano, it hadn`t helped as much as her kind words.  
"I just fear that once I`m in New York, once college starts, I`ll forget him. I`ll forget what he`ll taught me, what he said to me..."

Medel came to stay in front of him, pulled one of his hands up to place upon his heart, she smiled at him, and Logan could feel the tears pouring into his eyes again, she had been nothing but wonderful and extraordinary, raising her daughter alone, while coaching them and giving classes, they would all miss her like crazy.  
"You´ll never forget him, all he ever gave to you, it`s inside here.", she pressed his hand to his chest, "It won`t go away. I see his face everytime I look at Lily, and whenever one of you sang to her I saw him standing there right next to you, beaming with happiness.", she let go of his hands and reached up to cup his face, he had grown even more over the last summer, he was towering over her now, but it still made him feel so small, when his teacher looked at him with so much compassion, "He would have been so proud of you, Logan. Of who you have become in the last year. Look at you, you`ve graduated as the second best in your year. You`re going to college at one of the best universities in the country. Greg would have been so happy for you if he had been here today, and I know that wherever he may be, today he looked down upon us, and he laughed and cried with us.", her own eyes were misty, and Logan could feel some tears falling over his cheeks, "I`m so proud of you, Logan. You never gave up, you`ve only become stronger and I know that you will be so good for our country.", he had to laugh, pushing both hands over his face, when Medel let go of him to wipe away a tear of her own.

"I haven`t even started my classes yet.", he argued, his voice way too choked up to be normal, Medel smiled at him, sharing his laughter, "But I`ll give my best."  
"You have to promise me one thing though.", Medel said, searching for a tissue in her purse, Logan nodded.  
"Everything.", he wasn`t even hesitating with his answer, she had done so much for them.  
"Whenever you feel like the world is out to get you again, you call me. I know your relationship with your father has improved so much, and you have so many friends, who want to be there for you, but...", and he shushed her starting babbling with a hand on her arm.  
"I promise. I`ll call whenever things get rough. Besides, I already pinky promised Lily that I will call regularly.", Medel laughed, convinced that her daughter didn`t even know what a pinky promise was until now, "And even more, I`ll be here whenever the Warblers have a competition inside these walls, whenever there is a festival. Julian and I, we talked about it, we`re gonna come back, probably more than you want to see us.", Medel laughed, her heart and soul showing in it, Logan smiled, but he still was teary eyed, "This really is goodbye.", Medel reached around him and hugged him, not for the first time in the last days, pulling away they both had to wipe new tears away.

"No, it`s not, Logan.", Medel smiled at him again, "I`ll never say goodbye, especially not to you. You`re always gonna be a part of Dalton. I`ll always want you to be a part of Lilys life, she needs to have someone who will teach her how to play piano, doesn`t she? And I don`t know anyone better than you.", she was already walking by him and towards the stairs, when she looked over her shoulder again, "I`ll never say goodbye, because it would mean I won`t get to see someone again. You`re not saying goodbye to Dalton today, Logan, it`s always gonna be inside you. You´re saying goodbye to high school, you`re only starting your life now. Harvey never said goodbye either, don`t you remember?", Logan chuckled in already half a sob.  
"Until next time.", he spoke out, hearing his old teacher in his head again, how he had always said those words after every rehearsal, after every single time Logan had gone to talk to him. Medel had already climbed up some stairs, when he looked up again, catching her smiling eyes over the distance.

"Until next time, Logan.", and in that moment, when she turned back around and disappeared in the darkness of the upper rows, it wasn`t her who he saw, it wasn`t her voice he heard. It was Harvey standing on those stairs, looking like Logan remembered him, strong and happy, brown eyes so proud and cheerful, and he knew then that as long as he kept Dalton in his heart, as long as he kept Lily and Medel in his heart and soul, Harvey would never disappear. Swallowing heavily against the tears threatening to fall and the sobs daring to break out, Logan looked at the figure of his imagination until it faded away, and then he slowly lowered his head and let the tears fall, but it wasn´t because of sadness, he was proud of what he had achieved, and now he knew Harvey was, too.


	4. Henry and Johnny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look into the future generation where two boys become best friends

Henrik Daniel Seigerson, only called Henry, is born in a freezing and dark night at the end of January, with his father almost missing his birth because of iced streets and one too many traffic accidents. He is his parents fourth and last child, and not only is he the smallest at birth, but also the only boy.

His parents only son, born to three older sisters, who love him dearly from the first second they lay eyes on him, the oldest two, Charlotte and Victoria were already 8 and 7, and even his youngest older sister, Juliette, had already started kindergarden.

Not only is he the youngest, he is really THE youngest in his entire extended family, his uncles, his fathers best friends, have two children of their own, a son who was already starting Junior High and a daughter who was a year older than Juliette.

He was the baby of the family, and as much as it had annoyed Juliette to no end before he came along, he loved it, even years later. Henry was a kind and patient little boy, his mothers little sweetheart and his fathers little champion, his grandfather adored him, his adopted grandparents on his mothers side cherished him maybe even more than their other grandchildren, his uncles both loved him dearly. His sisters and cousin Eva had loved to play with him when he was still younger, but as he grew the girls started to find other things interesting and he slowly started to get in the way, but they still looked out for him and loved him as their little baby brother.

But no one in his little patchwork family loved him as much and spent as much attention on him than Johnny Wright, his uncles oldest child and only son. Even being ten years older than him, Johnny Wright was his closest friend and companion, where one boy went, the other followed. Whether it be on a family outing, a holiday or a long weekend in the Hamptons, Henry spent the majority of his first two years on this earth, happily smiling in Johnnys arms.

And once he could walk, one hand would always hold onto a teenagers pinky finger or grab onto a piece of pants or a sleeve to connect himself to the older boy. He found his own friends, on playdates and playgrounds, but no one, not even his own father, no one had anything on Johnny. And when you asked that little boy with the gentle brown eyes what he wanted to be when he grew up, he would not tell you anything about astronauts or racecar drivers, he would only tell you one sentence, “I wanna be just like Johnny.”

And Johnny would never change in his love for his little cousin and friend, where many older siblings got changed so much in puberty, where so many boys had changed and found other important friends in high school, Johnny always knew that no one would ever be more important than Henry.

Of course he found new friends after he started at Dalton, of course he dates girls and got girlfriends, but no popularity, no good grades or sports victories, nothing could make him smile more than a laugh over the phone from his little friend back home. And no expensive presents from admirers or girlfriends, no well thought of gift from his best friends or his family, none of it ever brought more joy to his eyes than the sweet little self made presents from Henry.

And when the time came and his sisters had all grown up, all gone to college and moved out of the house, and he was faced with Dalton and high school, there wasn`t even a questions about which house he would choose.

And it wasn`t because his father and his uncles or both his grandfathers had been Stuarts, that he chose the house with the red and white colors, somewhere in his mind he knew those things, but who cared about that when it was Johnny who had been a Stuart himself.

And on graduation day, it would be Johnny standing there with that big proud grin and the kind and loving green eyes, which he would look upon as he made his speech as valedictorian.

Their fathers had joked about in school, joked that they would have sons who would be the best of friends and attend Dalton together and become Stuarts and continue their legacies.

They would be right in the end with almost everything, as their sons became best friends, ignoring the ten year age gap all their life, and both of them became Stuarts and Henry and Johnny would continue their legacies, stepping into their fathers footsteps, but the one thing they missed out on…attending Dalton together, wrecking mischief together, that fate would fall upon their sons.


	5. When the Sand runs out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ernest Seigerson visits a friend's grave and tries to find answers for the million questions he left behind

"When The Sand Runs Out"  
John Logan Wright II dies of a heart attack some days short of his 48th birthday, no one had seen it coming and no one had been around for his last breaths. He had died alone in his office, long after everyone else had already left for the weekend.  
And he left more ruins and unfixed problems behind than a man his age should have been able to.  
I spent the morning at an old friend's grave  
Flowers and Amazing Grace, he was a good man  
He spent his whole life spinning his wheels  
Never knowing how the real thing feels  
He never took a chance or took the time to dance  
And I stood there thinking as I said goodbye  
Today is the first day of the rest of my life

Ernest Seigerson is two weeks shy of his own 48th birthday, when he finds himself on the graveyard on the outskirts of New York, and his feet carry him over to his best friend's grave without him having to think about giving directions.

He had been here often enough to find the way blind, and soon enough he is standing in front of the simple white headstone with the blue forget-me-not in full bloom in front of it.  
“Hey there, bastard, found my way back again.”, he never brings flowers, for one, there are always fresh ones at his grave, Michelle makes sure of it, and secondly, John would have laughed at him, but he sinks into a crouch and drags a hand over his face.

“I brought the boys back to Dalton yesterday. Senior Year. I still can't believe they're so grown up already.”, he starts to talk, “Logan is not okay yet, if you were wondering, but I'll continue to keep an eye on him. Derek promised to keep me in the loop concerning him, we can only pray now that those boys will catch him and bring him back to his feet.”

Logan had been the one to find his father late that night, concerned and worried when John had not come home hours after the clock had showed five, and after calling the police, they boy had not said another word for two weeks.

He had silently stared on at the funeral as his father's casket was lowered into the ground, while Michelle had wept at his side, he had nodded at the mass of strangers offering their condolences as if he had done it hundreds of times before, and Ernest had never hated his old friend as much as in that moment.

I'm gonna stop looking back and start moving on  
And learn how to face my fears  
Love with all of my heart, make my mark  
I wanna leave something here

He had taken his own son to the side some days before the funeral, still so much shaken up himself and he had sat him down and made him talk, and Ernest had listened to Derek for hours, listened to his fears, his hopes, and his dreams.

And he had realized how much he had failed his own son, how much he had failed to do what he had always accused John of not doing with Logan. And he had sworn to himself to make it right, to make sure that Derek knew how proud he was of him, how proud he would always be no matter where his decisions would lead him.

And they had spent the rest of the day laughing and talking, throwing the ball around like they hadn't done in many years, and when Derek called him Dad to his face again late that night, Ernest knew that at least with him things weren't lost yet.

Go out on a ledge, without any net  
That's what I'm gonna be about  
Yeah I wanna be running  
When the sand runs out

Some days after the funeral, they had quickly realized that Logan was spiraling into a darkness with no bottom and as everyone had started to advise therapy, so many strangers suddenly interested in the boy's life, Ernest had quickly approached Michelle and offered to take all three boys away for some weeks, to give her time to grieve and Logan time to breathe.

She had agreed immediately, and another day later, Ernest had found himself with a silent Logan and bickering Derek and Julian on a plane to their house in the Caribbean. And despite the small voice at the back of his head yelling for his morals and strict rules, he had given one room to Logan and Julian, another one for Derek and had taken the master bedroom all the way across the house for himself.

He had wanted to show them that he trusted them, believed in them and respected their privacy above everything, Julian and Derek had grinned, while Logan had only looked at him with that endless amount of hopelessness in green eyes.

'Cause people do it everyday  
Promise themselves they're gonna change  
I've been there, but I'm changing from the inside out

The first time Derek asks him “Are you for real?” is when he tells them one morning that he was going to take them climbing, Julian and Logan merely blink at him over their coffee cups.  
“You heard me right, a car will be here soon and it'll take us to Ocho Rios.”, Julian and Logan had at that point furrowed their brows together in confusion, but Derek had been on Jamaica before and had bee looking at him with wide unbelieving eyes.

Ernest had chuckled, he had remembered the dozens of times Derek had begged him to climb that waterfall, but he had always denied him that chance, the first few times because his boy had been too young, all the other times after that because Amanda had been too young.

But Amanda wasn't with them this time, and Derek was definitely not too young anymore with his eighteen years, so he had sent them packing a bag.

Four hours later something magical had happened, when Derek of all people had lost his footing and had slipped, Logan had laughed. Had laughed and laughed until he had cried. And so many rocks had fallen from Ernest's shoulders in that moment, because for the first time he had seen a sign of young carefree life in the blond boy again.

Needless to say he had spent the next fifteen minutes trying to keep his son from throttling his two best friends while trying not to laugh himself. It had been a great day.

That was then and this is now  
I'm a new man, yeah, I'm a brand new man  
And when they carve my stone they'll write these words  
"Here lies a man who lived life for all that its worth"

On one of their last evenings on their stay, he sits with them on the patio and lets them drink a beer or two, he isn't stupid, he knows not one of them hasn't been wasted once or more already, and frankly, he is having such a good time with them that he can forget to be a father for one night.

And it is there and then that Logan suddenly starts to cry, just switches from laughing one moment to sobbing behind raised hands in the next, and Derek and Julian are too shocked to do anything, so it falls to Ernest.

He sends both boys to take a long walk around the resort and the beach, and kneels down next to the crying blond boy, who has only started to fall apart, and one hand on a shoulder quickly becomes two arms pulling the boy to his chest once he realized how much Logan needs it.

“Why did he have to go?”, he would sob, his voice breaking, “Was it my fault?”, he would ask against his shoulder, “Did he hate me so much that he wanted to go?”, and Ernest would shush him and tell him that it wasn't like that, that is his father had loved him, but had just never found the chance again to show him, he would make him see that John's death hadn't been his fault.

And on the next day Logan had been quiet again, but he had laughed along with them when Derek had pushed into the pool by a girl he had hit on, and Ernest had seen that he had finally let himself grieve.

But today on the graveyard, Logan's question came back to him, and he had raised his eyes from where they had fallen to stare at his shoes.

And as the cold wind blows across the graveyard  
I think I hear the voice of my old friend whisper in my ear

“Why did you have to go?”, he would ask for the millionth time, hands curled into fists at his sides, “Why did you have to leave him like this? Without any words of apologies, without telling him how you really felt. You left him, John. You left him thinking you hated him.”, and Ernest had to think back to the morning after Logan had found John, to the moment where he had finally found a minute for his own shock, he had sat down behind his desk and had pressed the button on his phone to listen to the messages on his answering machine.

“Why did your realization come so late? Why couldn't you have made this decision earlier?”, and the message in his old friend's voice repeated itself in his head, John had sounded quiet, so quiet and weak, and defeated, broken almost.

I'm gonna stop looking back and start moving on  
Learn how to face my fears  
Love with all of my heart, make my mark  
I wanna leave something here

“I know I made mistakes, but I'm gonna change it. I'm going to show him that he still is my son, show him that his father had always been proud of him and would always be proud of him no matter what he does or who he becomes. I want him to know that I love him, love him for who he is. I'm going to change and tomorrow I will talk with him.”

But it had been too late. 

Tomorrow had never come.

John had spoken those words onto his answering machine three hours before he had died.

Go out on a ledge, without any net  
That's what I'm gonna be about  
Yeah I wanna be running  
When the sand runs out 

“I have to go and pick up the pieces again that you left behind. God only knows this is not gonna be the first time.”, Ernest glared at the flowers in front of him, before he raised his eyes to look at the engraved name on the headstone again, “But this time I really hate you for what you have done, I really do, but I'm still gonna do it. Because this time I truly don't have a choice, it's a not broken window this time, or a wrecked car, it's a human's life. It's your boy, damn it, John!”, he had to take a deep breath to get himself under control again, “Someone has to be there for that boy, he needs you, he always needed his father, and I'm going to make sure he gets now what you could never give him. Promises don't count much, when you're not around anymore to let them come true.”


	6. Let go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blaine and Logan friendship piece, where writing a song becomes a challenge

In dealing with Stuarts, there were three major rules you had to respect and follow if you valued your precious life in any way, the twins and every acting prefect of Windsor had made it their mission so far to get every new boy quickly accustomed to them.

1\. Don`t confront them with anything, good or bad, before they had their coffee.  
2\. Don`t ever disturb them in the library.  
3\. The most important one of them all: Don`t ever under any circumstances mess with a Stuart, when their prefect gets unbelievably territorial.

Blaine Anderson had always respected the last one, had almost always tried to go way out of any Stuarts way, when Logan had been on another ego trip, but as for the other two, he had never seen the necessity. Not even after Derek had thrown the boiling cup of coffee into his face after Blaine had happily greeted him one morning after he had spent the night with Logan, not even after Nick had thrown that thick physics book into his face in the library, after he had just asked how it was going. You could call it stubborn or stupid, but Blaine just loved some days and nothing would stop him then, so that was how he found himself walking along the shelves in the Dalton library this afternoon during study hall, his feet steadily walking him directly over to the blond boy shifting through the shelves in the physics department. Tongue flicking out between his lips, small worry lines between his eyes, green eyes high in concentration.  
„Hi, Logan.“

It wasn`t exactly the reaction Blaine would have anticipated, when the other boy shrieked and jumped, books and papers went flying from his arms into every direction, so he took a step back and waited until Logan whirled around, green eyes zeroing in on his face, hands over his heart.  
„Jesus fucking Christ, Blaine, can`t you give a guy some warning.“, he breathed out and Blaine couldn`t help himself, he grinned and maybe even smirked at the taller boy, it felt like ages since the last time he had successfully managed to scare Logan, but still he crouched down and helped the prefect with picking up his things again.  
„I`m sorry, you must have been more absorbed than I thought. What are you looking for?“  
„Well, project partner is a little picky with actually picking out real books, so I volunteered to step down from my high pedestal, grace the mortals with my presence for once and go down here to look for them myself.“, Logan quipped, „His words, not mine.“  
„Julian trying to be all diva again?“  
„Yeah, princess in all his glory.“, Logan admitted, nodding over to a table in the corner, dropping his books upon it, Blaine carefully placed the stack of papers next to them, „So, what brings you here?“  
„Actually, I was looking for you and Derek nicely pointed me here before I had to step inside the enemies head quarters.“, they sat down, facing each other.  
„Alright, what do you want?“  
„I was wondering if you would have any time in the near future to lend me your expertise.“, Logan blinked and looked at him as if he had grown a second head, so Blaine sighed, „I wanna ask you if you want to help me with writing an original song for the end of term festival.“

If it was an odd request, Logan didn`t shot it, it had been a long time since they had last worked together on something on pure voluntary basis, just the two of them, but Blaine knew that things had changed. A lot had changed since the fire, and even though Logan and Julian were still dancing around each other, they were both dancing now, and Logan had only eyes for him, they weren`t just friends, but nothing more yet either, it was a frustrating sight, but no one was more pissed off by it than Derek. 

Logan and him, that now was a different story, they had staid clear of each other in the first weeks after Dalton had opened its doors again, both way too busy with getting themselves back under control again. Logan had had Julian to worry about and Blaine had tried to be there for all of his friends, when his brother and Reed woke up screaming in the night, when Kurt couldn´t fall asleep, Dwight close to falling into dark spirals again, it had needed time and patience, but slowly things had gone back to something similar to normal. As normal as Dalton could be. 

The Warblers had stepped out of Regionals, Harveys loss was too close to all of their hearts to continue right away, but Medel had rallied them up some weeks ago and had proposed an end of term music festival. A just for fun competition, Kurt had invited the New Direction and the twins had reached out to some other show choirs in their area, and aside from singing in groups against each other, they would also hold a contest for single performers, Medel had joined with Mister Schuester to form a jury.

“You don´t want to sing with Kurt?”, Logans question returned him back into the present, and Blaine smiled upon seeing the confusion in green eyes.  
“Well, even if I wanted to, he wouldn`t let me. He is very intent on acing a solo.”, Logan chuckled, opening one of the books and flipping to a page further in the back.  
“So you are afraid to go against him with Katy Perry?”, smirking to himself, green eyes stubbornly refusing to meet his over the table, Blaine growled.  
“Come on, Logan, don`t make me beg.”, that perked him right up again and he really smirked at him then, looking purely amused.  
“You would?”, grabbing the closest book, Blaine thumped it over Logans head, the taller boy started to laugh but quickly hushed himself again to not draw attention to them, “Okay, okay. But what is in it for me?”

Now it was Blaines turn to grin, he had had several reasons to go looking for Logan, his friends were all musically talented, but none of them as much as Stuarts prefect, and even though he never performed any of them outside his own room, Blaine knew Logan had written a lot of music himself in the last years. And there was the added bonus of singing with one of Daltons best voices, he had said goodbye to the solo rounds once Kurt had gotten that possessed look in his eyes, Reed didn`t look any better whenever the festival was mentioned and knowing that Rachel was already sharpening her own weapons to go against Vocal Adrenalins new superstar, Blaine had just decided that it wasn`t worth the drama. He wanted fun, and fun only for once, so he had placed his eyes on the duets, and had with dread realized that the twins had decided to go for the crown, which meant he needed someone to blast them away. And if they had anything together, Logan and him, then it was chemistry and power voices on their side.

And when he told that to the boy sitting across the table from him, he got a raised eyebrow in response, but Logans eyes were already starting to glow.  
“You want us to go against the twins?”, everyone else would have heard it as a kind of unbelieving statement of impossible stakes to win, but Blaine knew him good enough to know that it was his way of accepting and welcoming a challenge. There were four ways nowadays to get Logan going, and he knew this performance he was planning would capture all of them.

Number 1: Impress Julian.

Which was fairly easy with a self written original song and a voice like Logans, Blaine was certain that he was not the only one who had at one point fallen in love with Logans voice, and if the daydreaming look in Julians eyes during Warbelrs rehearsals in Orion Hall in the last days were any indication, it wasn`t only Logans voice he was crazy about. Logan had an aura when he was singing, he usually put all of his soul into a song and he could hold the attention of every single person in an audience without straining a muscle.

Number 2: Make his father proud.

Windsors curly haired singer knew the senator was coming to the festival, the relationship between father and son had changed almost over night once they had finally found a way to talk with each other without insults flying around, and John Wright loved to see his boy on the stage, doing what he was so passionate about. And then, well, John Wright was a Stuart, just like his son, winning was always good.

Number 3: Ruin the Tweedles plans.

Logan may have a soft spot for his old friends, but after being on the receiving end of several tasteless jokes in the last year and a half, his tolerance had all but vanished, but had he been pissed off prior to Hell night, was he now intent on always being a step ahead of them. It had reached a point where Blaine had all but given up to understand their dynamics, he knew Logan and Dwight had some mutual understanding and that Windsors hunter kept his house rival well informed about the Tweedles antics, but he still couldn`t understand how Logan had managed to uproot almost any prank the twins had wanted to pull in the last weeks. He had even turned one of their tricks around to bite them in their own butts. And both, Ethan and Evan, had of course been very confident that the duel win was in their hands.

And Number 4: Get Derek off his back.

Everyone in Dalton knew the varsity captain was a hopeless mother hen, and if there had ever been someone hating to be mothered, it was his best friend. And now, where Julian and Logan were agonisingly slowly edging towards each other, Derek had focused the majority of his Logan centered attention to make sure he would work out past rivalries. He had gone so far already as to lock Logan, David and Wes into an empty classroom, which in turn had so far only caused all three boys to unite against Derek to get revenge. And Blaine had wanted to make a move before Derek decided to look Logan and him into a broom closet, Dalton had way too many of that, and as much as he cherished the returning trust between him and his exboyfriend, he could very much abstain from dark closets.  
“Alright, count me in.”, Logan answered again in more easy to understand words, “Meet me in the choir room tomorrow after lunch. We will need to tell Medel, and I need new sheet music.”

Done as said, and on the next day, both boys found themselves sitting behind the piano in the choir room, with Medel happily humming away in the small office next to it, in absolutely high spirits after learning that her two star singers wanted to work together. But as good as the idea was, it certainly proved to be difficult to find a common ground again, they gave up on composing music after arguing about instruments for two hours straight, Blaine having started it by insulting Logans handle of the guitar, which prompted the tall Stuart prefect to snap back that he had taught him how to play, so he was the one at fault.

It got so far that day that they both went back to their dorms with fuming heads and muttering insults under their breath, only to meet again halfway between their houses five minutes later when Julian and Kurt hauled their respective asses off towards each other again to apologize. And on the following day, they held up a united front on their continuing flight from Derek who had wanted to fulfill his plan of a broom closet, they ended up bickering about the type of song they wanted for the rest of the day hidden in the trees behind Hanover House.   
“If I sing a ballad with you, Kurt will skin me alive.”  
“Have you seen the way Julian looks at me? It´s a miracle I`m still alive.”  
“Well, you can´t dance even if you wanted to, so that is out of question, too.”, at which point Blaine had tackled a surprised Logan to the ground and they had taken out their energies against each other in a fencing match.

One day later and they hadn`t been able to do any song work at all, because the twins had gotten wind of their plan and they had fought a battle of pranks and tricks all day long until they actually fell asleep on the bench in the memorial garden. Julian wasn`t too happy later when he found them, but if the stupid grin Logan had when the actor pulled him to his feet was any sign, then it had maybe been part of a bigger scheme that Blaine wasn`t aware of yet.

On Thursday, they had actually made some progress and had decided to write a ballad after all, it suited both their voices best, but then the actual writing process had started, and Logan had started to tease Blaine about his puppy love with Kurt, which in turn had kicked Blaine into motion to tease Logan about his non existent love life with Julian. And then, god knows how they had ended up like that, they had eaten enough gummy bears and apples and pizza, and drank so much coffee that Logan had actually gotten sick, and Blaine hadn`t slept a minute that night, hyped up on sugar and caffeine, running in circles in the common room until Wes and David wrestled him to the ground.

Friday, Saturday and Sunday passed without any work getting done, with Logan confined to his bed by Doctor Derek, and Blaine nursing a sugar hangover induced headache. 

On Monday, they found themselves in Logans room, in silence for once, Julian and Kurt had taken Reed into Columbus to get some shopping done. 

Logan was lying on his back on his bed, head hanging upside down over the edge, hands throwing a baseball he had snatched from Derek earlier up and down, catching it without looking, when the realization strikes him. He missed this, and it wasn`t the bickering, the teasing or the comfortable silence, it was the sense of companionship, it were all those things together that came easily with Blaine. He had missed him. He had missed having Blaine as a friend.

Stealing a glance at the other boy, mirroring his pose on the couch, chewing on his pen, notebook balanced on his legs, Blaines eyebrows were furrowed, eyes narrowed at the ceiling as if the wooden panels kept the answer to their little problem. But they didn`t, the answer was right in front of them and it had been right in front of them the whole time.

They had stopped being enemies, had gotten over their egos and had both realized that friendship meant more than winning a war that had been stupid from the start. They both almost lost their home to a fire, almost lost friends and their soulmates to a psychopath, had to fight against their fathers to keep their school open and to stay in the one place they had ever dared to feel safe inside.

They had both gone through one too many mind blowing changes in the last week to keep a stupid rivalry alive, but what had started as awkward small talk at breakfast tables and casual jokes in classrooms, was suddenly back to how it had been before it had all gone down the drain one and a half years ago. They were friends again, able to decipher the other ones mood with only a single look, he would never be as close with anyone as he was with Julian and Derek, but Blaine knew things about him that only his two best friends did, they had shared fears and dreams in the past.

He knew how ugly Blaines temper could be, how obsessive he could be, how much he struggled with his father, just like Blaine did with him. They knew what they had to deal with, there were no surprises, no shocks. It was safety. And proving his musings, Blaine turned his head towards him and raised an eyebrow.  
“You`re okay?”  
“I think I might have something...”, and slowly Logan sat up and got to his feet, frowning a little as he walked over to the piano, Blaine followed him with his eyes until it hurt and he shook his head and sat up himself.  
“Lyrics? Music?”  
“No... the right mood finally... maybe.”, sitting down on the small bench, Logan let his fingers open up the keys, feeling Blaines eyes on his back, “Blaine, do you remember what Harvey told you about writing your own songs?”, fingers trailing absentmindedly over the first notes, Logan looked up to the picture Julian had placed there some hours ago with a long and determined look at him, proving that his jealousy issues were probably a bit more green than his own. From within the black picture frame, Julian and Derek were grinning at him, young faces pushed together.  
“To let it come from the heart, to write about things that happened to you, things you wish to have. To play it close to home so the emotions are real. What are you getting at?”

Logan turned his head to look back at Blaine while his fingers got comfortable with a small melody, “We can`t write about hopes and dreams, Blaine. What we want for our futures is too different, we can`t get that into one song, but there is something we can sing about. Something we got over. Something we left behind to start fresh.”

Last time that I picked up my phone  
Hear your voice on the end of my 9 0 1  
You say you needed to talk  
But you didn't care, before

They won by a landslide, and even Ethan and Evan were applauding in the end, and during their shared history lesson on the following Monday, Blaine observed Logans fidgeting and collar tugging until he was fed up with it and their teacher gave them a small break to get some coffee himself. 

The hickey was on his neck. And until their death beds, Derek and Blaine would disagree over who finally got Logan and Julian together.


	7. The Moment of Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> where Logan finds out a horrible truth and Blaine breaks down

"This is getting so ridiculous.", Logan scowled at the windshield of his car, holding his phone to his hear with his shoulder, while his hands were busy sorting through the mess of change money all three of them usually left in the glove compartment, when they were out for coffee runs or dinner pick ups. Especially Julian had a really disturbing tic, when it came to buying coffee or dinner, because he was absolutely unable to even come close to the real price with the amount of money he had on hand, Logan suspected it had something to do with the shiny coins he usually got as change. On the other end of the line, said actor let out an annoyed puff of breath that told Logan more than it probably should, he was getting really impatient and was probably convinced Logan had forgotten his complete order again, while he had started a rant about the crazy amount of coins in his car, he could already hear him complaining about his listening abilities again, "Shut up, princess."

"I didn`t say a word.", Julian instantly snapped back at him, Logan was astonished how quick they could still switch back and forth between shameless flirting to get Derek riled up and the old banter.

"Yeah, but I could hear you thinking. This is insane, my car looks like an ATM. Guys, you have to take some of this money, when you run for pizza.", Julian huffed again, Logan could easily picture him rolling his eyes at the other boy in the room, flopping back onto his bed, Derek just clicked his tongue, "You know I can always turn around and come back without coffee, how would you like that, hm?", but all three of them knew, that Logan wouldn`t dare do it, exams were just over and they all needed a break and since the twins last stint against Stuart House the coffee in their own kitchen tasted like strawberries, and aside from Thad, none of them was desperate enough to go with that, especially not Julian and Derek, because they had Logan, who loved his new car enough to drive to Lima just to get them their coffee.

Even though he hated the Lima Bean, but the coffee was good, better than anything in Westerville anyhow, so Logan sighed, grabbed a whole hand full of coins and got out of the car, pulling his coat up quickly, because winter was coming fast, and the wind had already picked up.

"Now, remember, Lo…"

"Jules, if you repeat it one more time, I`m actually getting you a peppermint tea. I got it, alright. See you later.", not waiting for Julian to snip something back at him, Logan ended the call and pushed his phone back into his pocket, pushing open the door to the Lima Bean, he instantly cringed when he heard all that girly chatter and obnoxious laughter. Yeah, they owed him, big time. Taking his place in line, he looked down into his left and shifted the coins around to see how much he really got, it was truly enough to buy three times the order he was about to place.

When his ears picked up the sound of familiar laughter, Logan raised his eyes again, letting them fly over the crowd of people, Blaine and Kurt were the ones who had introduced Julian to the coffee in this place, and Logan still hadn`t decided if he should curse or thank them for it. So it wasn`t a surprise, when green eyes found Windsors diva sitting in a booth in the far back corner, face illuminated from the sun streaming through the window, but it did nothing to his heart anymore, those twinkling blue eyes hadn`t let the butterflies fly for a very long time, all of that was done by the actor lounging on his bed back at Stuart house now. Kurt was laughing, all heart and soul, blue eyes falling shut shortly, and Logan was all expected to see the lovesick doopey grin on his exboyfriends face, brown eyes lost in daydreams. And all of that was true, the boy sitting across from Kurt, holding his hands, grinning at him like a lovesick idiot, hearts basically streaming from his eyes, was lost in daydreams, listening like a loyal puppy to whatever story Windsors diva was telling him, but… and that was the most shocking thing and the part that let Logan freeze on the spot, mind coming to a full stop, but that boy didn`t have brown eyes. That boy wasn`t Blaine Anderson. It was Dave Karosfky.

It took a lot of self control to not start screaming, and Logan wasn`t good with self control at all, so when he got his limbs back under control, he quickly stepped out of line and pushed himself behind a beam to have a better look at that train wreck happening right before his eyes. Kurt was glowing, he was positively glowing under the attention he was receiving, using a hand to pull the others boys chin closer, placing a small peck on his lips, and Logan got sick, his throat felt like being corded up. Pushing through the people standing in line, he muttered excused under his breath, while he made his way outside again, already fishing for his phone, when he saw the door.

Slamming the car door shut, Logan fell back into the drivers seat, throwing the coins onto the passenger seat, his fingers punching in speed dial number two.

"Did you forget…"

"Screw the coffee, Jules, I`m think I´m going to be sick.", using one hand to hastily open the top buttons of his coat, Logan loosened the tie right afterwards, "Oh god, how can I ever unsee this.", Julian was speechless, probably too confused to say something in witty comeback, the phone cracked one and then it was Dereks voice calling out to him through speaker.

"Lo, what is wrong? Are you okay?"

"No. Yes. I don´t know, oh god, how can I explain this to Blaine.", putting his own phone on speaker, he dropped it to the passenger seat and leaned forward, pushing both hands over his face, falling against the steering wheel.

"Lo? What is going on?", and the worry in Dereks voice let him at least halfway snap from the nightmare in his head.

"Kurt was there.", he squeaked out, green eyes looking over the steering wheel, praying and begging that whether Kurt nor Karosfky had seen him, he wasn`t ready to have that confrontation.

"Oh great, he knows my coffee order…"

"Can`t you stop it with the fucking coffee for once, Julian. Logan, what happened, talk to us.", pushing both hands over his face, Logan took a deep breath, he couldn`t figure out why this was affecting him so much.

"Kurt was there, but he wasn`t alone… And it wasn`t Blaine."

"So, I`ve been there with Kurt, what is the big deal with it.", Julian wanted to know, seemingly irritated, but Dereks silent gasp in the background let Logan know that he had caught onto what he couldn`t say out loud.

"Well, he didn`t kiss you, right? Because if he did, I have a much bigger problem with him than I initially thought and I will go right back in there to tell him where to keep his fucking…"

"Woah, Lo, calm down.", but it wasn`t easy, it had never been easy and now, where he had slipped past the imminent shock and the disgust, Logans temper had decided to rear his ugly head again, stormed right past all self control lines, and all just because if there had ever been something to trigger his anger than it was jealousy. Somewhere in the back of his red seeing mind, he could hear Derek thumping Julian over the head, supposely with a book, berating him for making that comment.

"Lo, listen to me. Do not go back in there, okay. Don`t. Go. Back. In. There. It won`t do anyone anything good. Start the car, come back to Stuart and we will deal with this.", Derek didn`t do questions or pleadings, when Logan is almost gone all the way, he always succumbs to orders and threats, and it always had been the only thing speaking to Logan in those moments, Julian is exceptionally quiet, knowing really well that he fucked it up.

Two hours later, Logan is calmed down again, he has a bruise on his arm, but that was Dereks fault alone and not his, he was walking over to Windsor, Julian and Derek whispering back and forth on either of his side.

"Why do I need to talk to the twins?"

"Because you speak crazy the best. And besides, I need to go to practice with Wes and David anyway. It´s easier that way, duh."

"Guys.", Logans exhausted sigh stopped their babbling and both looked up to him, "Nobody is breaking apart anyone. I`ll take Blaine, you take the rest. And you all make sure that Ethan and Evan don`t go off and do something stupid.", begrudingly both of them nod, it was more for his sake then for the greater good, but Logan was ready to take everything at the moment.

They get the gang quickly rallied up in the common room, just because Ethan and Evan had taken one look into Logans face and had realized how serious this was, and like that, Logan also got free reign to walk up to Blaines room all alone. Taking one last deep breath, before he knocked on the door.

"Come in.", Windsors prefect called out to him and Logan opened the door, with the biggest fake smile on his face that Blaine had ever seen, because the second he laid eyes on him, his face dropped and he sat up on his bed, where he had previously lounged with a book.

"What happened?", Logan closed the door behind himself before he walked over to the other boys desk and leaned against it, only then thinking about answering.

"It`s not easy to describe.", he hesitated, brown eyes narrowed towards him and Logan pushed a hand over his face, he had no idea of how he had gotten there, once in what felt like a lifetime ago, he had broken up with Blaine, and everything had been so fucked up that they had hated each other, had led a war against each other, and now, where they were friends again, he had to be the jerk of the hour again and tell Blaine that Kurt was freaking cheating on him.

"Don`t make me hit you with a book.", Blaine threatened and raised the thick novel, Logan raised both hands in defense, moving to sit down on Blaines desk chair.

"What did Kurt tell you, where he went today?", what was supposed to sound like a care free conversation starter came out immensely suspicious and had Blaine instantly on edge.

"Why do you…", but knowing his temper always as good as his own and reminding himself that Blaine was like an unstable pack of C4, when the topic turned to Kurt, he interrupted him quickly.

"Just answer the question, Blaine, please.", it probably was the pleading undertone, but Logan could easily see the unease taking the place of anger in Blaines bones, he was already smelling the horror. And it pained him, it hurt him, it crushed his heart to have to talk to him about this, because Blaine hadn`t earned it, he was too good for this, and he could not believe that someone like Kurt would do this, but then again, he had always had the feeling that the stunt against Dwight in the last year was only the beginnings of the divas real face.

"He wanted to meet up with Mercedes, she asked him to go over some college choices with her.", Blaine was highly suspicious by then, swinging both legs over the edge of the bed.

"Blaine, I saw Kurt in the Lima Bean, today, and he wasn`t alone. And it sure as hell wasn`t Mercedes.", it only triggered more confusion in the smaller boy, while Logan once again felt like dying, his voice got all choked up, and he had to fight to get the words out, because his conscience was physically trying to prevent him from speaking the truth.

"Maybe they went to get coffee and met someone else, Logan, what is the reason for this interrogation.", no matter how gentle he had pictured this to work out, it wouldn`t end that way, it had to get out, Blaine deserved to know.

"Kurt was with Karosfky.", Logan closed his eyes, he couldn`t look at Blaine, "Kissing Karosfky.", and when the words were finally out and there, and he opened his eyes again, Blaine was a frozen statue.

"You`re lying!", the defences were up very quick, hard eyes glared at him, cold, emotionless, the accusing tone in Blaines voice did not hit home for once, because Logan knew this moment way too good, the moment, where denying was the only knive you still owned to fight back.

"Blaine…", slowly getting to his feet, Logan made to walk over to Windsors prefect, but Blaine jumped to his own feet, dragging both hands over his face, holding out a hand then to keep the other boy from coming closer, but Logan didn`t stop, he could see him falling apart right in front of his eyes.

"No, there is a perfectly good explanation for this!", screaming at him, Blaine flinched away from him, when he reached out a hesitant hand, "There is, I know there has to be.", but they both know there isn`t, and there will never be, and not a second later it crashed over Blaine like a landslide, buried him under the sheer power of its pain. The truth, the terrible truth that the boy he had dared to call the love of his life, had cheated on him, had betrayed what had been so sacred to him. Brown eyes looked up at him, lost, so utterly lost and helpless, and hurt, and Logan wanted so badly for it all to turn out to be a nightmare, he couldn`t see Blaine like that again, "Logan…", it was just a whisper, his voice laced with so much pain, while the tears were already falling over his face, arms curling around his chest to keep it together, to keep his heart from breaking apart, and Logan rushed forward, pulled him close and held onto him, when Blaine broke apart.

"It`s gonna be okay.", but he had to close his own eyes, when those heavy gut wrenching sobs racked through the smaller boys chest and his shirt got soaked with hot tears, "I got you, Blaine, it`s gonna be okay. I promise you, it will be okay."


	8. When it takes over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look into losing control

It`s red. It`s red everywhere. And the screams are echoing in his ears and the crashes are a melody in his mind. And he wants more. MORE. MORE. MORE.

Destruction is your friend and peace is the enemy, because peace meant silence, because peace meant control, and he hated control. No one got to control him, not even he himself.

His body kept on moving and fists kept on flying, and it was almost a dance, step to the left, knee to the groin, step to the right, fist to the jaw. Jump back, turn around, twist arm around. More screams, more music. Less control.

And the throbbing in his head only grew, he needed more. The energy in his body. The blood pumping through his veins. The adrenaline urging him on and on and on.

Quick step to the right. Left arm up, shield yourself. Turn to the left, kick out to block the foot coming towards you.

Crunch. Bone broke. One down. Five more to go. 

The only thing he could feel was rage, and it left his vision red and blind and his ears ringing with their taunting. They had no idea what they were dealing with.

Duck. Get back up, punch his thorax. Breath wheezing. Another one down.

He was snarling, there was barely anything human in him anymore. Eyes filled with fire and madness. He would not go down today.

Step to the left. Shoulder rammed against throat. Spluttering for air. Third one down.

The pain in his own limbs, it would come later, but at this moment he had no thought left for it. There were no thoughts at all, just pure instinct. They were not going to hurt him.

Left. Right. Duck. Defend. Attack.

Punch to his right temple. Stumbling back half a step, before throwing himself forward again. Fist to the side of a head. Falling against the brick wall. Two more to go.

Yelling. Screaming. Fear. 

Fear was good, fear was like gasoline to his fire. He bathed himself in it, let the rage consum it. 

And suddenly light. Suddenly light in the dark end of the backyard. Suddenly more footsteps. People running, screaming, threatening.

"Don`t even think about running.", voices vaguely familiar... breath pushing through his lungs, body shaking with tremors... too much adrenaline, too much power, too much rage... blind, no control.

"Tie them up or something and someone call the police."

Control. They took control from him. His fight, this was his fight, why were they taking control from him.

Footsteps approached and he snarled, body tensing up again to attack, but he couldn`t see, he couldn`t see anymore, who was friend, who was enemy.

Names trying to fight their way to the surface of his mind. Faces. He shook his head, he needed to forget, he needed to fight. Attack. Defend. He was alone. Loose control.

Loose emotions and feelings, loose names and faces. Loose yourself. Loose your grip on sanity. Sanity meant loosing, sanity meant pain.  
LOOSE CONTROL.

"Logan?"

And the whole world came to a stop. Name. His name. Someone called him by his name.

Backing up further against the brick wall behind him, he shook his head, tried to fight against the onslaught of voices suddenly echoing around the alley.

"Stop fighting or I will knock you really out."

"Police will be here any moment."

"Call an ambulance."

"Oh fuck it, they can swim in their pain and blood a little longer."

"Logan."

No way out. Three people blocking his exit, three bodies coming closer. Like a wall, closing in. Caging him in. 

Knees too weak, sliding to the ground. Voices and names in his head. Trying to be connected. Anger pushing them back. Control... he needed control.

"Logan, it`s okay.", he knew this voice, he knew it. A hand was placed on his knee in a gentle and comforting gesture.

Anger did not know comfort. Wrench knee back. Push fist down.

But he didn`t want to, he knew this person, he didn`t want to hurt. The hand remained on his knee, even after he had tried to punch it.

"Lo, it`s okay."

Nickname. His nickname. Brown eyes. Brown hair.

Derek.

"It`s okay. You`re safe now. They won´t hurt you anymore. You can stop fighting."

Control. Give control to Derek. He wouldn`t hurt. Derek is safe. Derek is safety. 

Fists unclenched. The tremors slowly ebbed away.

"That`s it, Lo. Just stop fighting."

And he let darkness claim him.


End file.
